a wonderful woman

She's a Capable Mother.

She has sensitivity and a concerned character that led her to start Yayasan Cinta Anak Bangsa (YCAB). Her name is Veronica Colondam. The establishment of YCAB as an anti drug foundation that campaigns for prevention was not easy and the journey was at time long and arduous. Currently, YCAB is developing its knowledge and improving its methods. This non profit foundation was established on the 13th of August 1999 and it has since then developed methods to save the youth of the nation from drug abuse. By accessing a variety of sources both local and international and by tapping into fresh ingenuity and initiative, YCAB has established effective concepts and ideas. "YCAB establishment was born out of my deep concern over the circulation of drugs in Indonesia that has escalated recently. Like any other mother, I was anxious over the prospect of my own children growing up in this kind of environment. I then realized that there was something I could do for my children and for Indonesia's youth" she said. And now, as it enters its fourth year, YCAB has become well-known both locally and internationally and it has received recognition for its efforts in drug prevention. For her efforts, the United Nations awarded Veronica, the 3rd United Nations-Vienna Civil Society Award in Vienna December 2001.

i am very fortunate to know her. for me, she is inspirational. she does not talk much but takes action. her rare quality is what this country needs more of. beauty inside out.

the end

if you only knew.

you were the last.

if you only believed.

i would have lived.

the biggest conspiracy in the world

One day when I was watching Oprah in an episode about Kristin Armstrong's (Lance Armstrong's ex wife) new book "Happily ever after". A story about her marriage and divorce with Lance and her struggle to find her true self back. In their conversation, Oprah mentioned that, "when you come to think about it, the biggest conspiracy in the world is marriage". No one ever, not even our mothers, sisters or best friends would ever spill on what really happens after the wedding day. More often, they will start saying, "Marriage is hard work" only after we are married and discovers problem and goes to them to find answers or their secrets for a happy marriage. Well, finally they all will say and admit the truth of what happened after the wedding day. Now I know why even in fairy tales everything stops after the VO says, "and they live happily ever after" - THE END. That's how Cinderella, Snow White ends their story. So, what happened with prince charming? It's a mystery...but I don't think the charming is ever after. Hhhmmm...

Well, I'm not the expert in marriage. But one thing I know is that are no science, logic, or anything that will ensure that you have a fairy tale marriage. You know why? Because you are marrying a human being. Humans are humans. There is no logic to it. We are different and unique. Each one of us. So, I don't even think you should buy any self help books, as they won't be relevant to you. You will end up experiencing all the opposite. Because no matter how perfect you choose your couple, at the end of the day, it's about whether you can appreciate her/him and not seduced by your neighbours greener lawn. And human nature has always been envy, even after you actually have the best.

I can say this with confident and actually believed in what I've said, because I had experienced it. When I was younger till a few months before my wedding day, all of my relationships was hurtful. I was always madly head over heels in love and always dumped at the end. It was terrible. So, based on my experienced, I closed shop my heart and used logic for a husband. I noted the things I hated during my relationships and made sure that all things that can caused it will be thrown out the window. The first was my feeling. I did not want to love as I don't want to feel the pain of insecurity, of waiting for your lover to come home, etc. So I had to have a husband that loves me more. I also needed someone that is far different than me so I will always find him interesting as we come from different background.

Bla, bla, bla...I got what I want and I married him.

Fast forward now, 7 years after our marriage and I am here miserable, unhappy and lonely. Do you know why? Not loving someone is actually really tiring, especially when you have to live with them. Too nice is boring. Now we don't communicate with each other at all. What we have in common is only our son. I am emotionally abused and trapped in this marriage because he is the perfect father. I have to think of my son now more then myself. His well being and happiness is priority. I can't say I'm a good mother as I am the bread provider of the family. I have less time to spend with him. I am exhausted and I need someone to save me. My knight in shining armour.

Marriage. It's an illusion. It's a conspiracy. It's the biggest one. I know as I'm in it now.

If you love someone, you might lose yourself. If you don't love someone, you'll be empty. A question I asked everyday, "will I find my soul mate?", "is there even such thing as a soul mate?", "will I be given a chance to be in a loving relationship?", "will I find my love", "will I find someone who wants to die for me?", "is this only happening to me?"...so many questions unanswered.

Do you know?

"every person is special...

...you just have to know how and what to look for."

I never really ever try to find inspiration. Never looked for it either. It always came without announcement. Always a happy surprise, though. But once you're inspired, you just can't stop creating, doing good, helping others, writing, and the list goes on and on until a dead end. Sometimes but most of the time, inspiration leads us to inspire other people too. I guess God created this life cycle to make humans dependent on each other. For all the excitement - peace, love, war, knowledge, etc.

I learned most of the magic and beauty of life from my friends. That is why I cherish them the most. My friends are my heroes. They are whom I look up to.

He was a hero way before I even understood that heroes do really exist in this world. I only knew of Superman, Wonderwoman, Batman. He gave up his childhood, life to fight in the name of Indonesia in sport. Because of him, our nations anthem was heard in foreign countries. The world got a chance to see our flag "red & white". Isn't it fantastic.

But have you ever asked where he is now? Have you ever wonder? Have you ever thanked him? Or have you forgotten him and people like him? Would you want to give up your life to serve and be forgotten?

"I don't" that's my answer. He is a legend and will always be, even after life. If not to you, for sure to me.

* "Legenda" a song by Sheila Madjid

Prince Harry to be deployed to Irac

Third in line to British throne could be first royal to see combat in 25 years

• Prince Harry ordered to Iraq Feb. 22: For the first time in 25 years, a member of Britain's royal family may fight for his country. NBC's Dawna Friesen reports from London.

LONDON - Prince Harry, third in line to the British throne, will be deployed to Iraq, the Ministry of Defense said Thursday.
His regiment, the Blues and Royals, is expected to deploy to Iraq this spring, and he could become the first royal to see combat since his uncle, Prince Andrew, served in the Falklands war against Argentina in 1982.
Harry — a second lieutenant — has expressed his desire to serve alongside his comrades in Iraq, saying that there was “no way” he was going to undergo rigorous training and then stay away from the battlefield. He graduated last year from Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst.

Britain’s Ministry of Defense has previously said that Harry could be kept out of situations where his presence could jeopardize his comrades.
The 22-year-old prince, known as Troop Commander Wales by his regiment, has trained to command 11 soldiers and four Scimitar tanks.
In joining the military, Harry followed a royal tradition: his father, Prince Charles, was a pilot with the Royal Air Force and Royal Navy and a ship commander, and Harry’s grandfather, Prince Philip, had a distinguished career in the Royal Navy during World War II.
On Wednesday, Prime Minister Tony Blair announced that Britain would be reducing its commitment in Iraq, withdrawing 1,600 soldiers in the next few months.

© 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Even a prince wants to find self actualization. He refused to be told what he can and cannot do. He knows who he is and he wants to live his "own" life. He is only third in line of the throne. A slim chance to be King, yet a fat chance to be a hero. Long live the prince..* he's just in my mind all day.

Start Making a Difference

"Think about what you have to give, not even in terms of dollars because I believe that your life is about service. It's about what you came to give to the world, to your children, to your family."
— Oprah

Begin with Yourself

Jackie Waldman, author of The Courage to Give, recommends starting simple and small—you don't have to begin an organization, just try volunteering once a month. "If you can just put your own stuff aside for a moment—that's the courage."

Questions to Ask Yourself

Do I work best with people my own age, people younger or people older than myself?
Is there any specific issue that really interests me or that I feel strongly about?
When I lose track of time, what am I doing?
What do I love to do?
The one thing I know I do well is...

Learn more about Jackie Waldman
Visit her official Web site at www.couragetogive.com.

Use Your Passion to Give Back

Share Your Experiences

If you've ever had a life-changing experience, sharing it could help others. Need examples? Read how the Use Your Life Award Recipients use their personal experiences to improve their communities.

Use What You Enjoy
Think of the last time you lost all track of time. What were you doing? Go to the library or search online for volunteer opportunities that relate to that activity, no matter how ridiculous you may think it is. You'll be surprised at what you find!
Your family and friends may have the answers you're looking for—and not even know it! Ask three family members or friends: "What do you think I love to do? What do you think I do particularly well?"

Tap Into the Real You
Sometimes we are too bogged down with our daily routine to realize what inspires us or where our passion lies. Discover yourself through writing! Start your personal journal at Oprah.com.
Lifestyle Makeover expert Cheryl Richardson has outlined Five Steps to help you find your passion.
Try this visual exercise to uncover your passion! Create a Life Map.

Overcome Your Obstacles
Think you don't have the money to pursue your dreams? Let financial expert Ric Edelman show you how to make your money grow.
Feel like you want to give to others but can't find the time? Carve out up to 20 hours a month!

an image of my life

courage. no reply.

my email to Asia 21 after reading this email and lunch meeting with Meutya Hafid at Hotel Mulia Senayan 16 February 2007.

Dear Jamie and friends at Asia 21 network,

First of all, on behalf of the Indonesian team, I would like to thank the whole Asia 21 network for your kind attention and concern for the well being of Indonesia. It really gave us hope.

On this opportunity, I would like to update you on what has been done, planned and what kind of help we need to overcoming the flood disaster, short term, mid term and long term in Jakarta or anywhere prone to it in Indonesia.

After gathering data and intensive discussions with the government, local authorities, city planning experts, media, NGO’s and various private sectors, we have identified the following:

Short term problems such as food, shelters, medications, sanitation has been and is being taken care of by the government, private sectors and NGO’s. Our friends from the neighboring countries have lent a hand by providing food and medicines. Doctors from various universities around the nation have come to Jakarta to provide free health check up for people affected by the floods and surrounding, especially in the shelters. Now, as the floods are “on and off” draining, more doctors have come to anticipate the aftermath. Basically, as difficult as it seems, up till now, the nation is still able to handle the short term solution.

Medium term solution is to encourage that all houses and buildings must have a “rain water observance well/ground water well” (I don’t know the correct English term for “sumur resapan”). If all houses/buildings in Jakarta have this well, it will not only decrease the floods during rainy season (as it is absorb by the ground first before it goes through the sewage), it will also help the people against deficit of water during dry season. In long term, it will also stabilize the land condition of Jakarta. Prevent decrease of ground volume.
(See picture attached)

Long term solution on paper/plan, the government has. Last week, we have met Marco Kusumawijaya, an expert in city planning (independent/non-government) shared with us some information on why the government plan has not yet been executed. As fantastic it is on paper, the situation on the ground is totally the opposite. The governments plan in summary are as follows:

Maximize the function of 13 rivers that flows through Jakarta, by:
i. Cleaning garbage and temporary houses
ii. Secure area for public service. Relocate homes to another location or compensation
iii. Strict construction policy and law
Construction of the east canal

The governments plan will be good if it all is understood and supported by the people. The main problem for the government is actually the relocating of residential houses and the cleaning of the temporary houses built on the side of the rivers that cause the blockage. The government’s poor track record in similar activity in the past adds in to the already difficult situation.

After the discussion, we identified what Asia 21- Indonesia can help within our capacity and capabilities (hopefully, with guidance and help from the network). The plan is as follows:

PUBLIC SERVICE CAMPAIGN

Objective: To change attitude
a. Education/Socialization campaign for the importance of building the “ground water well” in every house

and how to build it

b. Education/Socialization and Persuasion campaign on the importance of maximum function of the river

Strategy:
a. To launch an integrated communications campaign
b. Targeted to:
Primary:

- General public
- People living in the “restricted area”

- Schools
- Community leaders
- Media
Secondary:
- Government
- Corporate (fundraising, good governance)
c. Supported with communications material that is simple, visual and easy to understand
d. That clearly define the reason why and the how to
e. Utilizing medium most commonly used by the target audience
f. The communications campaign will be executed as follows:
- Face to face education/socialization in communities, schools, restricted areas, etc.
- Advertising: TVC, print, outdoor, advertorial, radio
- Public Service Ad in format, can be endorsed by public figure/celebrities
g. Public Relations:
- Press briefing and workshop, Editorial
- Education/Socialization at community centers, schools, etc. è poster, flyer's è why and how
- Radio talk show, announcements, etc.
h. Educational short movie by Riri Riza (Indonesia’s young film director)

The next step, after we all have agreed with the plan on how we can help, we will structure the cost and run a fundraising activity to fund the campaign. It is important that this educational campaign is done not via the government but independent, as to ensure maximize use of funds in order to achieve maximum impact.

Jamie, we are open and will appreciate if you or anyone within the network can give us an input or additional ideas or case studies on successful similar activities for additional learning’s or anything relevant that can help in any way.

Great idea they said. Great initiative they said. But no input nor reply from anybody in the network. Sad but true. I really want to do something. I really want to bring Asia 21 to life. But a network is a network, like a society is a society. An individual can't make up a society, but she can make the first step. The first initiative. To bring the society alive.

sucked out

Have you ever felt like your energy are being sucked out of your entire body? Today I felt it. I couldn't think, no mood, no nothing. I didn't cry, I didn't laugh either. To many disappointments, I guess. One after another.

It started with a weird feeling of sadness in the beginning of the week. When I was on the way to work on Monday, suddenly in front of Kartika Chandra jl. Gatot Subroto, J's memories came back to haunt me. I felt like he was actually near me, saying something that I couldn't understand but I know I automatically felt sad. I missed him again after 2 years apart. Once I sat on my desk, opened my laptop...and an msn appeared. The message made me feel numb. I'm neither sad nor angry nor happy. I wanted to cry but couldn't. So, you're finally getting married. So fast so little time. I couldn't believe that my wish just didn't come true. You and me finally together, living happy ever after till death do us part. Our story, the end. Half of me, my soul, gone.

Yesterday, a hunched that was true reality. My eyes may be weak but my ears and nose are functioning beyond its capacity. I heard a familiar voice in the next room. Questions came into my head..."Is it really her?"..."Interview or freelance?"...a phone call and no answer. She called back. She denied. She lied. But she finally confessed. "It was an interview"..."I want it now", she said. Disappointed I am to know that our efforts meant nothing to a person we cared enough for us to fight and kill ourselves to always give her what makes her happy. Having a dream and to follow it to achieve it, is not wrong. It's great. But in life, whatever you do, you have to do it the right way. The simplest rule is to appreciate and respect other people, especially the one that has helped you. Ethics is key. Don't think to highly of yourself. Don't learn from the wrong people, the wrong source.

I took this quote from a fellow Asia 21, Bam Aquino:

"Self actualization to giving up yourself."

You actually find yourself when you give yourself to others and you’ll become a better person by denying yourself.

Bam also said the following about public service which I think applies to everything we do in life. Ego is not for this lifetime.

"Courage. We have to be courageous enough to follow...and make it work. Second is integrity. Because we need more people who have integrity who would not be bought by power or money. Third is diligence. Because nothing comes easy that is why we have to work hard. Fourth is humility. Be humble enough to know when you’re wrong. Be humble enough when things have to change. But most of all, be humble enough as there are people who also want to help. "

All the effort, all the emotional tantrum, all the fight. I placed my passion to you. A wise man believed in you and went his way to lobby for you to get what you want. "Is being honest not good enough?" "Do you really prefer sweet words of lies and over promises?". As passionate I was to support your dream and passion. As passionate also I am now, not to acknowledge your existences. Not exact God's words (but more or less) "the value of reward equals to the value of good deeds done" "besarnya rezeki bergantung pada besarnya pahala yang kita lakukan"

I'm tired. I will now switch the focus of my energy somewhere else. You have found your way. Good luck on your journey. My pain, my gain as I am happy once more.

george, I am proud of you.

George, someone I use to date a long time ago. He was not only that but also my best friends big brother. I have known him since my high school years but we only became close after college. We started our relationship after his car accident in Lucern. He was in coma and couldn't walk for almost a year. Due to trauma, no one in the family allowed him to recover. They were over protective which made him afraid to step back into the real world.

I came into his life and changed everything. Everyday I'd encourage him to lose the wheel chair and walk. I told him that my dream was to walk with him to a fine dining restaurant, dance, walk in the mall, watch movies and travel the world. Everyday I can see him try harder and harder. From losing the wheel chair until he was able to drive again and finally walk on his own.

Of course soon after he is well, he went back to school in Den Haag. I visited him once but we broke up not long after that. Long distance relationship is not my thing.

Since the breakup, George was just another "jerk" ex-boyfriend. He was a spoiled brat. He got married and so did I.

Not long ago George divorced his wife to live with another woman. I was angry at the way he treated his wife. No respect at all. He was frank about his relationship with the other woman and didn't come home for most of the time. Eventhough he was like me, always honest about his feelings and who he is, I didn't agree the way he was hurting the mother of his child. Naturally his parents didn't approve his extra marital relationship.

Today, I heard that he finally got married with his "other woman".

Today, I am very proud of him.

He married the love of his life. He, unlike me, have found his soulmate. Someone that he is willing to give his life for. He gave up everything he has, including his own family, to be with her. For a person like George, it is a very nobel act. I admire him for having the courage to stand up and fight for what he believes. He had risked everything for her. Not only limited to him, I am also very proud of his wife. Her courage to walk through the blizzard and hurricane up till the minute she walked through the aisle, was courages.

Not many will agree with me being proud of them but not many will agree also with the unfairness they had to experience. How his parents asked the priest not to wed them at the last minute in church when the ceremony was about to start. And how no one from his family came. Not even his sister whom he had always supported all these years when she had cheated on her husband. He was always there for her, especially during bad times. As much as you dissapproved his choice, she ought to be there for him. They were very close.

Who gave the right for anyone to control someone elses life. Who gave parents the right to control their children's life. Faith is in God's hand. If you are meant to be, you are meant to be. Others can only postpone. They deserves as much happyness as any other person. They might have started it wrongly, but they deserve to have the chance for a right and happy ending.

George, I am very proud of you. Be always grateful that God has given you a chance to be happy and in love. Appreciate every minute of it as it should be worth all the sacrifice you made. But then again, if it is for love it won't feel like a sacrifice but only good. And never regret as it was your choice. You took this path with every responsibility that goes with it. If you can walk again, you can have everything again. Remember dear, you have not lost everything, it's just placed on hold until you are ready.

Have a wonderful life...