the four agreements - in our life

how the four agreements book changed Oprah and her life...

First Agreement

"Be impeccable with your word," brings me clarity. If I'm impeccable with my word all the time, if I never gossip, if I always do everything I say I will, including being on time, my mind is clearer. That first agreement leads to the ability to keep the others.

The Second Agreement

"Don't take anything personally," was life-changing. For years I'd had the disease to please. If someone asked me to do something, I felt I had no choice. It was like, 'Oh, I've gotta.' What's more, I took other people's opinions about me to heart. I'd read the tabloids and think, 'Why do they say things that aren't true? Why make up stories?' And I'd be hurt. Maya Angelou used to tell me, 'You're not in it,' meaning, these people don't know who you are. They're not people who give you anything. But it took this book to really drive home the point that everyone's acting out of their own preconceptions. They're in their own personal movie. Knowing that has freed me. If someone asks me for a favor, I will do it only if I want to. But the 'have to' is gone, because I don't take other people's reactions personally.

The Third Agreement

"Don't make assumptions," can save you so much anxiety and grief. You allow experiences to be what they are, rather than focusing on what should happen or what people should or could do.

The Fourth Agreement

"Always do your best," that's ingrained in me. I know it's worth it to give 100 percent and then some. When I do my best, I never have to worry that I could have done better. But I've learned to let go of the expectations and the anxiety about what others will think. Read the excerpt that follows and let it make a difference for you too.